What to do with your pet…..when it dies.

(PHOTO: PAPARUTZI)
I am in London at the moment with the boyfriend (though we are heading to see my baby niece in Heidelberg tomorrow) and we’ve been watching some Errol Morris documentaries. He is probably best known for his amazing 1988 crime documentary “The Thin Blue Line,” in which Morris essentially reveals that inmate Randall Adams had been wrongly convicted of killing a Dallas, Texas cop. It’s fuckin’ amazing. Of course it made me want to track down the prosecutor and court psychiatrist and have THEM sit down on the electric chair to which they had condemned Adams. Annnnnways.

Morris also made a film called “Gates of Heaven” about the pet cemetery business. It’s pretty odd. Or shall we say, the people who feel passionately about pet cemeteries are pretty odd. Of course this brings up the question, what DO you do with your pet after they die. There are the obvious choices: burial in either the backyard, illegally in the favorite park, in a proper pet cemetery or scattered as ashes wherever you choose.

Alternatively (and I do mean alternatively) you could:

Have them stuffed. Nothing says eternal love like a taxidermied tabby cat perched upon the mantle

Have them stuffed and ROBOTICIZED. If a life-life expression isn’t lively enough for you, add some animatronics to your stuff pet. Have them sit on their favorite kitchen chair and paw at your arm for dinner....the options are endless.

Or...or....USE THEIR FUR TO KNIT A SWEATER. The closest thing to snuggling up to Fido? Of course if you have a small cat, this might only make a hat or single mitten. Start collecting stray hairs now.