“The lab guilt! It’s tearing me apart!*$?”

Sooo when I was in New York my dear friend Kurt was kind enough to make a concerted effort to see me - which was no small feat considering that he was headed into moving apts, manning a World Malaria Awareness Day info booth in the city, presenting a talk to esteemed peers, and conducting his never-ending stream of lab work at his graduate post in the Department of Medical Parasitology at NYU that promises to save us from disease.

Needless to say, no matter how many scrumptious desserts we stuffed down his gullet, and how many meals we coerced him into joining, he couldn’t shed his guilt about frolicking around the city with us when he should have been at the lab getting blisters from all his pipetting.

At one point he cracked: I have to go, he pleaded. I have lab guilt, he admitted. And then muttered something about being an ex-catholic.

And so inspired was I by this admission that I decided to make a T-shirt for him to that effect that I’m now selling at The Inkstand.

But I have to clarify: lab guilt is in no way the exclusive property of ex-catholics. From what I can tell, it applies to any person who has experiments to operate and science to see to. And to be fair, us un-lab-bound people who cherish and love our scientist friends, should be more sympathetic to their plight. So, if you see someone wearing this t-shirt, gently approach them to gage their interest in joining you at the pub, but whatever you do DO NOT pressure them if they decline. It is your job as their supportive friend to understand their quandary and slowly back away leaving them to their martyrdom. How else will the best science get done in this world?

Men’s “I’ve Got Lab Guilt” Tee. $22
Women’s Lab Guilt American Apparel Tee $22