If I ate a corn seed, would you be worried that I’d turn into a corn plant?

When I was little I LOVED CORN NUTS. Oh lordy did I love ‘em. I could gorge myself on a bulk bag of Corn Nuts until my head exploded.

But then one day, my evil older brother tried to ruin the beautiful relationship that Corn Nuts and I had built. He told me that if I ate Corn Nuts and then immediately drank water, I would sprout corn plants from my ears. Fucker. I mean Corn Nuts LOOK like the corn seeds my dad planted in the back yard every year and waters with care. It seem, well, plausible enough.

Now, of course, it seems ridiculous. Insane. Totally er, nuts. To think that by just EATING something its genetic material could somehow fuse with mine and produce unexpected Frankenstieanian side effects. I mean seriously.

It seems that Greenpeace has never emerged from their own childhood horror story. For the past forever, they have been campaigning against all kinds of genetically modified foods. As a result of their work, GM foods must be labeled as such on the package. Which is good, so long as the consuming public really understands what there is to fear. Now Greenpeace is zeroing in on livestock fed GM feed crops, as they are not required to be labeled as such under EU regulations.  In fact, the organization submitted a one million strong petition to the EU to change this status quo just a couple weeks ago.

And I guess, well, more upfront labeling is never really a bad thing. But the suggestion implies that merely by eating GM products we, or the livestock, become GM. And you know, it just ain’t so. Just like eating some Corn Nuts won’t turn me corny (har), eating a GM food product will not make you genetically modified. You’ve eat TONNES already, believe me you.

Of course this is nothing new; worries over the movement of transgenes has plagued GM feed for ages. Back in 2000, critics suggested that transgenes could pass from feed to animal via gut bacteria. But after donkeys years, officials have never found trace of this occurrence. Indeed a recent report from the EU found that animals fed GM feed crops had no traces of the DNA or proteins in their meat or eggs or other foody bits.

I am not one to pretend that the big biotech companies are good or kind or invested in the health and well being of anyone beyond their shareholders (I mean Monsanto is now equivalent with PURE EVIL in my head). And, like many a reasonable folk, I have concerns over the environmental impact of growing GMOs. However, the admission, banning or labeling of GM-fed animals should not propagate mis-information about the safety concerns of this *potentially useful, environmentally friendly, plentiful, happy and healthy food.

*"With great power comes great responsibility,” says Spiderman’s aunt. Let’s just say I don’t want Monsanto to save my world.