So I have recently become addicted to Top Chef. So much so that I acquired the entire season 3 on Friday and proceeded to watch the entire thing in a disgusting fit of TV gorging all weekend long. I am vile. (Season 4 is playing right now...it’s not too late to get hooked. Go...go now).

It’s kind of like Project Runway for chefs - each episode they have to do two very difficult cooking challenges - limited time, budget, weird ingredients etc - and have them judged by some of the best chefs in the world. One of the challenges in Season 3 was to take classic American food, including as meatloaf, chicken a la king, cabbage rolls, lasagna, mac and cheese, tuna casserole, frank and beans, and make them LOWER CHOLESTEROL. Not lower fat or saturated fat or calories, but lower CHOLESTEROL.

This irketh me. Mostly because it’s wrongity wrong wrong. Let me explain.

For years and years doctors had noted that people with high total cholesterol had more heart attacks. This lead to the logical conclusion that by EATING less DIETARY cholesterol one could drop your BLOOD cholesterol. Remember when everything said “cholesterol free” and our dads were told to stay WELL clear of high cholesterol foods such as eggs?

Well it turns out that was all kind of wrong. Because EATING cholesterol seems to have little impact on the ratio of good:bad cholesterol (high density lipoprotein: low density lipoprotein), which is actually a much stronger indicator of heart disease risk than total cholesterol. Indeed, many nutrition scientists argue that it is eating the trans and saturated fats (not cholesterol) that bumps up blood cholesterol and skews the ratio to the bad. Check out the summary of the situation at this 2000 paper published in the Journal of the American College of Nutrition.

Did I mention that was a 2000 paper...eight years ago? This is not new science and frankly I was kind of appalled that the Top Chef dudes haven’t figured that out. I realize their job is NOT to make healthy food, but fuck-off tasty food, but come on. The balance of evidence today is pointing to the fact that a diet high in artificial fats, saturated fats and traditional vegetable oils (canola and corn) and low in olive oil, fish (the omega-3 etc) is really driving heart disease risk. And SOMEBODY on the production team should have figured this out.

I probably wouldn’t have been so cheesed had not the judges singled out one dude for using lobster in his dish. Per 100 gram serving, lobster has 90 calories and 0.9 grams of total fat total...but it has 95 mg of cholesterol (about half an egg’s worth). For comparison, 100 grams of skinless, boneless chicken breast has 110 calories and 1.24 grams of fat....but just 58 mg of cholesterol. We’re theoretically supposed to limit consumption to 300 mg per day.

So by the CHOLESTEROL method, lobster is a sin indeed. But if - as science can now tell us - that EATING cholesterol in food, doesn’t functionally RAISE cholesterol in the blood, then I say the lobster is actually the healthier food. Fewer calories, saturated fat and more uber-health omega-3s (yes, yes there is the PRICE problem, but that’s another blog post, isn’t it?)

The public has surely been jerked around by the evolving science of dietary fats: what’s good, what’s bad and how much should we eat of ‘em. Helping people to understand these changes is IMPERATIVE. A show like Top Chef - with it’s superstars (Oh Padma the beautiful) and high entertainment value - is a prime opportunity to teach these very facts. I am INCREDIBLY disappointed that they just added to the confusion.

But I still love the show. That Padma, I tell you.

So imagine that you are Momma North Atlantic Right Whale. You are just one of 350 to 400 of your species, making you officially ”endangered” so you’re feeling pretty desperate about staying alive to reproduce and ensuring that your babies do as well. Which is getting harder and harder - especially around the Boston Harbor area - cause those damn container ships keep on running your friends over, crushing their skulls and slicing off their tails.  Even though you’re like 40 or 50 feet long, those metal mammoths of the sea or about 900. Squishy.

A recent analysis of your population suggests that, unless there are fewer deaths from ship strikes and fishing gear entanglements, you and your buddies are never going to recover. Collisions killed 24 of the 67 right wales reported dead (that’s reported only) between 1970 and 2007. Scientists argue over how to fix the problem. Avoid certain areas, re-route shipping channels, just plain slow down...all of these may help. Except the slowing down; a 90,000 ton ship doesn’t have to move that fast to be lethal.

But slowing down DOES make it easier to avoid the whales. If anyone is looking or LISTENING that is. And now they can.

Scientists at Cornell’s Ornithology Lab (yes, that means birds, but who cares) are piloting a project whereby buoys floating around the waters off Massachusetts (and especially in the shipping lanes) detect the sounds of right whales, triangulate their location and then broadcast it to ship captains. It’s called the Right Whale Listening Network and you can enjoy their terrifying interactive graphics and pretty pictures.

Of course the ship captains still have to CARE about the info when they get it, but if some regulatory intermediary is FORCING them to watch and then FINING them millions of dollars if they don’t comply, it might work. Happy Momma Right Whale.

(PS. Right whales are called right whales cause they float to the surface when dead, making them easier to harvest..hence the “right” whale to go after. Huh)

Remember Knut? This is what he used to look like, all dinky and diddy. He was rejected by his mama bear and left to fend for himself, so staff at Berlin Zoo where he lived decided to hand raise him. This sparked off a big old debate about whether they should have put him down instead, but then all the photos of baby Knut rolling around with a loo brush and a football won over everyone and he was allowed to live. The killer combo of adorable baby bear and polar-bear-as-symbol-of-climate change saved his life.

But now Knut has betrayed everyone and got all grown up and ugly and crazy. Shocker! Baby bear grows up. And now apparently, accordingly to a slightly over the top the piece in BBC News, he’s killing carp ‘for fun’. Evil bear! The Frankfurter Allgemeine news website reports that Knut “senselessly murdered the carp”, fishing them out, playing with them and then leaving the remains. No! And all because Knut is being eclipsed in the popularity stakes by new kid on the block Flocke. He’s clearly jealous! Now, I like polar bears as much as the next person and I like baby animals. But even though these bears are captive in a zoo we should not forget that they are WILD animals and not jealous human beings. Anthropomorphism is an easy trap to fall into at the best of times, but surely it’s gone a smidge too far here...?

(PHOTO: OBYVATEL)

This is a typical London photo. Picturesque Big Ben? Check. Fun London Eye? Check. Dark stormy grey sky? Check. Aaand… odd yellow tinge to the water? Double check. Everytime I walk across the river I think ‘this city is so pretty. That water is truly horrible, you’d probably dissolve if you fell in there’. And yet, clearly I am being unfair. Because apparently, sea horses live there. I sometimes read about various projects to clean up the toxic Thames, but I honestly didn’t think it could ever work, and I am amazed that anything lives there, let alone the dainty Hippocampus Hippocampus. Amazed and delighted.

No joke. There I am, eating a delicious lunch at neighbourhood joint Brioche and perusing the Saturday edition of the Globe and Mail (one of Canada’s nationals) and lo and behold there’s a whole page dedicated to Darwin (as in Charles) inspired home decor in the form of an article titled ”Natural Selections.” Now I know I’ve publicly drooled over the witty Darwin and Finchy pillows on sale at Etsy. But this article is all grown-up with no such whimsy. In other words, it’s way more, like, cuh-laaasssy.

Here’s the subhead: “Sea and reptile motifs are big for the home this spring, but a popular show on Charles Darwin gives them extra resonance. Danny Sinopoli examines the Victorian naturalist as modern-day style maker”

And sure enough Danny dearest goes on to mention that there are some really nice silver lizard napkin rings, turtle-shaped boxes with removable shell lids and crocodile picture frames out this season. Weighty desk clocks, tripod floor lamps and wood and leather campaign chairs round out the look.

I quote: “the look and trappings of Darwin’s world are all the rage this spring.” In part this trend is inspired by the traveling exhibition ”Darwin: The Evolution Revolution“ that blessed the American Museum of Natural History in New York and the Field Museum in Chicago with its presence before moving to Toronto’s Royal Ontario Museum where it will continue until August 4th.

(PHOTO: JAMES PRESTON)

There’s a big hoo ha going on in Britain right now about plastic shopping bags, which I am totally behind. I try to rarely take plastic bags in stores and would happily accept a fine (which would hopefully be donated to some green clean-up project) if I forget to bring my own and have to purchase one. Plastic is a modern miracle but there’s just so much of it being used and chucked every year that inevitably some of it will end up where it shouldn’t.

Before the BBC news tonight I’d never heard of the island of Midway, in the central Pacific. But now I know more than I want to. Apparently, nearly two million Laysan albatrosses live here and every single one contains some quantity of plastic. The birds eat plastic lighters because they look a bit like squid, and eat many other tasty types of plastic besides. And it does them no good at all.

Clean up crews work constantly to clear the beaches of Midway, polluted with plastic thanks to powerful ocean currents. Each time there’s a storm a fresh load is dumped there, and they have to start clearing over again. The telly news item showed how much gunk one crew collected in 30 minutes, and during the whole speeded-up video a fat and fuzzy albatross chick sat on the sidelines watching. They are quite absurdly cute and tame, and their parents are graceful and beautiful - seeing a researcher pulling a plastic hook out of a chick’s beak is all the mental image I’ll need to never forget my jute bag ever again.

Read all about it here and here

The above photo is the ‘before’ pic. There are some ‘after’ pics here and here, if you have a strong stomach. They deserve better.

(PHOTO: SOPHIE)
For the past week I’ve been sitting mostly in one spot, drinking shiteloads of lemon honey goodness, blowing my nose, and pondering my snotty state. That’s mostly because my sinuses exploded into runny gunkyness right underneath my face , which made it hard to think about anything else.

Frankly, snot has been on my mind in that cloying way that makes me suspect it might literally be spreading through my brain.

So now that I’m coming out of the cold (I’ve moved into the dry cough to the wet cough to the annoying-everybody-in-the-office cough) I’ve become slightly philosophical about my snotty state. What happened??

Well according to the CDC when your nose and sinus get infected with germs your nose makes clear mucus in an attempt (feeble in my case) to wash away said germs. This mucus is clear. After a couple days (this would have landed me on precious Good Friday - the first long weekend of the Canadian year) your body’s immune cells fight back. Apparently this battle changes the mucus to a white or yellow color - I have no idea why. This is what the CDC writes next: “As the bacteria that live in the nose grow back, they may also be found in the mucus, which changes the mucus to a greenish color.” Which begs the question, if they’re normal happy nose bacteria then why isn’t my snot always green. Say what?

So lucky for me Dr. Rod Moser has the answer in this post from WebMD: “After sitting in a congested nasal passage all night, mucous becomes stagnant....just like a green pond.” Eeenteresting, if not absolutely foul to think about. But Dr. Moser does go on to drill home the message that green snot ‘snot bad news. And just because it’s green doesn’t mean you need to bully your Doctor into prescribing you or your child antibiotics.

Still, where does the color green come from? Well. It comes from the color wheel. A New Scientist article explains that two of the common types of human nasal bacteria Staphylococcus aureus and Pseudomonas pyocyanea take on a a golden yellow and blue hue respectively. Mix them together and let them fester in a congested nasal passage and what do you get? Grotty green snot.  It’s practically art. And if that isn’t a truly enlightened view of your head cold, well I’ll just go jump in a lake. 

(PHOTO: LEEBOLISH)

If you’re on a diet, cheese tends to be the first item to be immediately off the menu. However, cheese is also one of the best things ever, so any attempts to make it healthier is a-ok with me. Low fat cheddar is a bit grim, low fat mozzarella is ok ish, and low fat laughing cow triangles (never said I was a gourmet) are a handy ingredient for cooking. But now there’s a new alternative we might see cosying up on our cheese shelves soon. Yak cheese.

According to Mamun Or-Rashid (via New Scientist), Yak cheese has less fat overall compared to cow’s milk cheese, and higher levels of so-called good fats such as conjugated linoleic acid (CLA) and omega-3 fatty acids.

Goats cheese is an acquired taste because it tastes undeniably of goat. But for the sake of not forsaking cheese I was prepared to acquire it. And if it means I don’t have to embrace the cheese-free life then I will do the same for chhurpi or bayaslag or any other delicious alternative. There are not that many yak-appropriate pastures in the greater London area so I’m not expecting it to be cheap but I’m keen to give it a go.

(PHOTO: PAPARUTZI)
I am in London at the moment with the boyfriend (though we are heading to see my baby niece in Heidelberg tomorrow) and we’ve been watching some Errol Morris documentaries. He is probably best known for his amazing 1988 crime documentary “The Thin Blue Line,” in which Morris essentially reveals that inmate Randall Adams had been wrongly convicted of killing a Dallas, Texas cop. It’s fuckin’ amazing. Of course it made me want to track down the prosecutor and court psychiatrist and have THEM sit down on the electric chair to which they had condemned Adams. Annnnnways.

Morris also made a film called “Gates of Heaven” about the pet cemetery business. It’s pretty odd. Or shall we say, the people who feel passionately about pet cemeteries are pretty odd. Of course this brings up the question, what DO you do with your pet after they die. There are the obvious choices: burial in either the backyard, illegally in the favorite park, in a proper pet cemetery or scattered as ashes wherever you choose.

Alternatively (and I do mean alternatively) you could:

Have them stuffed. Nothing says eternal love like a taxidermied tabby cat perched upon the mantle

Have them stuffed and ROBOTICIZED. If a life-life expression isn’t lively enough for you, add some animatronics to your stuff pet. Have them sit on their favorite kitchen chair and paw at your arm for dinner....the options are endless.

Or...or....USE THEIR FUR TO KNIT A SWEATER. The closest thing to snuggling up to Fido? Of course if you have a small cat, this might only make a hat or single mitten. Start collecting stray hairs now.

In another lifetime, when Anne and Katie and I were trying to get together funding to start a print science magazine for women in the UK, we all met Olivia Judson. Actually, I had met her the year earlier by way of her book Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation, which my father had given me for Christmas. It’s a hilarious book written as a collection of advice columns wherein Dr. Tatiana helps out various hapless folks in the animal kingdom who have odd sex habits our accoutrements. At the time I was a researcher in an evolutionary biology lab at the University of Toronto and spending much too much of my day looking up 1970s articles on male frog chest spines (to aid in holding their mates, er, firmly, while copulating) or the frequency of female sea lions being crushed to death by males trying to mount them as they fled for the sea. Needless to say I loved the book.

When we met her in real live person in London, where she is a researcher at Imperial College, she was filming the TV version of the book. It was weird, a little unsettling (there is something whimsical in TALKING about giant corkscrew animal penises, but rather less in SEEING them) but she looked fabulous, had a great screen presence and it was still a lot of fun. She now has a column at the New York Times, deservedly so, where she gets to remind us about all sorts of lovely things evolutionary in nature...like the potential size of a T. rex penis. In all of her posts, sex-related or not, she manages to sneak in so much delicious basic biology. And you’re sure you’re not learning anything, because it’s just too much fun, but you are. I think the US government - with its truly DIRE science literacy rankings - should hire her to be the National Science Teacher. Because who wouldn’t want to listen to her?

I can tell you for certain that the males of our species certainly do. For when I took a casual glance through some of the recent comments, I tabulated that about 90% of them (with sex identifiable names) were dudes. Sure commenting isn’t the best way to gauge the sex bias of her readership, but still. I mean here is a fabulous woman writing about fun, accessible topics in biology and still...where’s the ladies, ladies?

(And I think this might call for the creation of a new category..like “Women whose eggs we would like to use in IVF if ours turn out to be defunct.” Or something.)