Not that they don’t tear apart. Just that they don’t make you cry.

Crop and Food, a research institute in New Zealand, used gene-silencing to shut off the onion’s biggest flaw. They are hoping to have a prototype onion hitting the market in a decade.

Colin Eady is the senior scientists behind the breakthrough. Here’s what he told AFP: “The technology creates a sequence that switches off the tear-inducing gene in the onion so it doesn’t produce the enzyme. So when you slice the vegetable, it doesn’t produce tears.” He anticipates that the health and the flavor of the onion will actually be enhanced this way. Me? I’m a bit skeptical. But have a decade to wait to see if its justified. 

People, there’s something you have to know. 2008 is the International year of the Potato. That’s right. A whole YEAR of potato festivities. Talk about heaven.

Now this is especially concerning because we’ve already let 17 potential days of spud love pass us by. But that leaves a whole 348 days of potato festivities ahead of us. Truth be told, I don’t know how to go about celebrating a whole year of potatoes. So I went to the UN International Year of the Potato website to find out.

There, they’ve got a handy ”potato calendar” that flags all the good stuff. This February comes the International Potato Technology Expo. Then we’ve got a bunch of do-gooders meeting in Peru this March to convene and discuss the hot topic of “potato science for the poor.” Finally far off into the future in October don’t forget ”Potato week 2008” in Spain - which makes it Semana de la Patata (which begs the question, how does a potato week distinguish itself from a potato year? Are the two not redundant?). And finally, for those that will be sad to see the year of the potato go come December 31, 2008, never fear. The I7th World Potato Congress takes place in March 2009.

I’m personally puzzled as to why Mr. Potato Head isn’t making an appearance during the year of the potato (I mean seriously, it’s a golden opportunity). Also, I think some potato lore, poetry and proverbs wouldn’t go amiss. I stumbled upon this Irish one that my unimaginative head can’t quite process. It goes like this: “"It is easy to halve the potato where there’s love.” ...? As in, people who love are generous and share? They’re good at eying the irregular shape of spuds and cutting them perfectly in half? People in love are rich in potatoes? ?  ?

Moving along. May I also recommend the UN web page that explains the origins of the potato. In fact, the entire “Potato” subsection is a revelation. Did you know there are over 200 species of wild potato that grow in the Americas and over 5,000 varieties grown in the Andes alone. Don’t you want to each every single one!! Where are the potato tours? I want to taste the whole gamut of them. Yum yum. Now that’s an idea worth exploring; a potato eating tour of the Andes. I would SO go. 

Multiple Organisms.net is an eclectic and earnest series of web pages that catalogue all sorts of organisms. It covers everything from Streptococcus mutans, the tooth decaying bacteria to Kerri Kabela’s page on Bellis perennis, the English Daisy, which reminds us of that oft overlooked quote of Meg Ryan’s from You’ve Got Mail: “Don’t you think that daisies are the nicest flower?” Like I said, for a wickedly titled website its content is awfully sincere. 

None of us use washboards anymore. But its namesake dirt road is around in spades. And it causes hiccup-like speech in those trapped inside the trucks barreling down it. Every now and again, road crews scrape the road flat. But lo and behold, the bumps rise again like little ocean swells.

In my personal experience, the best way to mitigate washboard’s grating effect on the belly and vision is to simply drive faster. That way you tires pretty much skim the crests of washboard. Granted this increases the risk of skidding or fishtailing but that’s half the fun. Turns out this is all very ironic because a group of physicists recently concluded that the only way of stopping washboard from rising out of dirt roads is to drive slow. And by slow they mean like 5 miles per hour slow. To figure this out they created a computer model of the grains of dirt on a road to study how the ripples form. According to Science News, which reported their findings:

Any bed of dirt or sand, even a very smooth one, has minuscule irregularities that slightly jog a rolling wheel. Each time the wheel hits a bump, the computer simulation showed, it pushes the dirt forward a bit, enlarging the irregularity. Then, as the wheel passes over the top of the bump, the force of its descent pushes dirt forward into the next bump. Repeat these actions a hundred or more times and the familiar pattern of ridges appears.

So basically, I think the take home message is “suck it up.” Because let’s face it, no one’s going to drive 5mph on a dirt road. And if there’s no permanent way of keeping them at bay, I think they’re he-he-e-e-re t-o-o-o sta-a-a-a-a-y-y-y-y.

Welcome ye olde faithful Inky Circus readers!

The content’s the same. The font’s a bit different. There’s slightly less orange. But this is it. Our new digs.

But as we tame this new beast, and settle in, we need all the feedback we can get! So with your judgements.

p.s. Here’s our new RSS feed. 

About a year and a half into Inky Circus’s existence we’ve gone and moved. That’s right, your favorite science show has switched circuits to Inkling magazine. But other than the change in url, things are business as usual. It might be a little rocky while we sort out the new formats, so stay with us.

We’ll be just as candid. Just as silly. Just as bitchy. And just as nerdy. We’ll continue to do our best to keep you distracted from your day job.

As for logistics. Our archives will forevermore be available at www.inkycircus.com. And our new RSS feed can be got right here on our left hand column.