Your Health This (Obvi) Week

Abstinence-only education doesn’t work. A hushed-up government study, finally published by sex-ed advocates, found that A.O. doesn’t delay the age of first sexual intercourse, doesn’t reduce the number of sexual partners and doesn’t seem to impact contraception practices. Whatever we spent on the study that found this out, it’s nothing compared to the $1 billion tab for Bush Administration abstinence-only programs.

Chondroitin, the popular natural remedy for joint problems, doesn’t seem to help people with arthritis. Again.

Fruits and vegetables really do protect against cancer. AND in a dose-dependent manner. Every stalk of broccoli gives you just a little bit less cancer risk. Too bad Americans still aren’t eating their five a day.

We still don’t have a genital herpes vaccine, despite the fact that 20% of us carry it, it can seriously complicate childbirth and HIV is easier to get if you’re infected with herpes. It’s just so EXPENSIVE to make new vaccines, see? But clinical trials for Herpevac are pushing forward. It was recently found 73% effective against simplex 2 (the variant primarily responsible for genital infections) in uninfected women.

Bacon is bad for you. But it’s not our waistlines bearing the brunt, it’s our lungs taking a beating. That’s right, cured meats seem to lead to lung diseases like bronchitis.

Breastfeeding is good for mother and child. Breastfed babies are less likely to become overweight and older mommies, who have a greater risk of breast cancer, can change their odds by breastfeeding.

Prescription drugs in the U.S. are really expensive. And they are likely to stay that way, as Bush and the Republicans vow to quash a bill that would require drug companies to negotiate prices with the government on behalf of Medicare. There’s always those Canadian Internet pharmacies.

Milk does a body good. Because of its unique combination of fast- and slow-to-digest proteins, milk provides the optimum combo for muscle building. It’s also 20–30 times cheaper than that weird powdery stuff with the Speedo-clad men on the cover. Drink up!

Disclaimer: Your Health This Week and Inkling magazine would like to remind you that this is a humorous article. Although the items listed above are both obvious and true, we make no guarantee about other things being equally true, no matter how obvious they may seem to you. People have been injured this way in the past, especially when lighter fluid and/or skateboards have been involved. It seems to be a self-evident world out there, but please check by using the scientific method whenever possible.