Sharkwater: Die Hard on the High Seas

Sharkwater, a new documentary by 27-year-old Canadian filmmaker Rob Stewart, starts out kind of predictably. There is the requisite gorgeous underwater footage of circling hammerheads paired with appropriately swelling music; there are talking-head biologists who insist that sharks are timid, gentle giants who mostly know better than to eat people (we can all be comforted to learn that most shark attacks are merely “exploratory bites"); and then we have Stewart’s own beachside preaching that sharks are the ecological peacekeepers of the oceans, in desperate need of protection against a poaching industry that claims 100 million sharks every year for shark fin soup and hokey Asian medicines.

As a girl well versed in the plight of shark species it was hard, at first, for me to see why everyone in the festival circuit got so excited about this film. Barring Stewart’s perfect-teeth good looks and the surfer dude lilt of his voice, Sharkwater seemed like every other doomsday nature documentary I’d ever seen. Pretty, but pointless.

I was very very wrong. This is no squishy, “save the sharks aren’t they so majestic n’ beautiful” piece of environmental sentimentality. It’s like Die Hard on the high seas with sharks as the basement full of cash. No really.

Along with Captain Paul Watson, leader of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (a team of bandit enviros who enjoy sinking Norwegian whaling ships for a start), Stewart traveled to the Galapagos, Costa Rica and Guatemala to film the plight of sharks. They uncovered massive government corruption and an untouchable Taiwanese shark-finning mafia, got arrested and ended up fleeing Central America with the local coast guard (armed with automatic weapons) at their stern. All because they dared to interfere in the billion-dollar business that is shark finning.

Stewart’s story is amazing, and his footage of the shark-finning industry is astounding. Fishermen shear the fins off sharks and then kick the helpless creatures off their boats – still alive – to bleed to death in the ocean. It’s among the most horrific footage I have ever seen. Top that all off with a comically repugnant Chinese shark fin salesman (I have no idea how Stewart managed not to throttle him), a little flesh-eating bacteria and some well placed Nina Simone on the soundtrack, and you have a fabulous feature film.

By the end you just have to forgive Stewart for his syrupy didactic narratives: Yes we know that longline fisheries are the spawn of Satan, that sharks are perfect and have no taste for humans, and that the entire ocean ecosystem and hence humans rely on sharks for our prosperity. You even have to forgive the plaintive strings, the sappy soprano and the dubious extended clip of his Jesus-like free dive in nothing more than a (very small) Speedo. Sure I laughed, I might have even rolled my eyeballs. But it didn’t matter. I just couldn’t get enough of this crazy kid and his action-packed fight for sharks.

All I wanted to do upon leaving the theatre was (a) give one month’s income to the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society (say what you will but they get the job done – just cross your fingers you agree with the job, eh?) and (b) figure out why we can’t do for shark fins what they did for ivory: make it illegal unless stuck to the (living) animal. Oh, and then find that Chinese shark fin merchant and punch him.

Sharkwater opened in theaters on March 23 in major Canadian cities; it’s now open in New York, NY. Check the film’s site for weekly updated showtimes in Canada and the US.