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More Valentine’s Gifts for Scientist-Types
Okay, so scientists have already proven that Valentine’s Day acts as a catalyst for breakups, causing those in weak or deteriorating relationships to decide to call it quits sooner rather than later. So what? You’re not in one of those. Your love is strong and growing tougher by the minute. And (if you’re reading us) you’ve probably got a sweetheart of a science-geek for a partner.
Well, then, have we got some ideas for you this February 14th. And hey, if you do happen to be on rocky ground, maybe one of these awesome gifts will help to stave off the inevitable. One can but hope, right?
Literature and Music
1. You’re an Animal, Viskovitz! is a charming (and funny, and kinda dirty) collection of short stories. Written by a scientist, it follows the adventures of the hapless Viskovitz, who finds himself inhabiting the body of a different species of animal in every chapter. The drive to reproduce, plus the specific biological realities of the creature he’s in at that moment, dictate his actions and the events that unfold.
“We snails, Visko,” my old ones explained to me, “are insufficient hermaphrodites—”
“How disgusting!” I shrieked. “Even our family?”
“Certainly, sonny. We are able to fulfill both the masculine function as well as the feminine one. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.” With his radula, he pointed to my two tools.
“And how come insufficient?”
“Because we can couple only with other snails, if there is a reciprocal inclination, but never with ourselves.”
“Says who?”
“Our faith, Visko. The other nasty thing is a mortal sin. Even to think of it,” Daddymommy warned.
2. The journal Isotope is a very rare breed—a publication dedicated to printing long-form literary essays, fiction, and poetry on topics relating to science and nature, including “astronomy, artificial intelligence, genetic engineering, sexuality, urban ecosystems, restoration ecology, physics and math.” It’s smart, engaging stuff, and I can’t recommend a subscription highly enough for anyone who is interested in both literary and scientific explorations.
3. Eerie-voiced Emilíana Torrini Davíðsdóttir (What? Not all Icelandic singer-songwriters have easy-to-pronounce names) knew what she was doing when she named an album Love in The Time of Science: it really pushed up her nerd appeal. The LP may not actually have all that much to do with science, per se, but its title track does start with the beguiling and persuasive lines, “Thinnnnnnnk of me/ Very scientifically...”
Historical Artifacts
4. Hey, is there a kitchen wall in your partner’s apartment that’s just crying out for some sophisticated, science-related art? Have I got the thing for you! How about a great big poster of pioneering sexologist Alfred Kinsey interviewing a female subject? Everyone in the photo is fully clothed, more’s the pity, but still. It’s a little piece of sex history!
5. This vintage sex-ed book from 1963 is described as follows by its seller: “Featuring many illustrations and photographs, there are hilarious chapter titles such as What about those sex problems? and What’s the harm in petting? (Do you have to pet to be popular?)” HOW CAN YOU RESIST?
Adornments
6. I know, I know. It’s a pain seeing someone else wearing the same Threadless t-shirt as you, because those things are everywhere. But honestly, there’s a reason everyone likes them.
7. It’s an XKCD tie. Unisex, of course. Instant geek-cred.
8. Warning: If you’re the kind of person who can’t look at an anatomically-correct human heart-shaped pendant without wanting to own it, you might not want to follow that link, because these suckers aren’t exactly cheap. Still, neither is your love, right?
Cute and Educational. Or Maybe Just Educational.
9. This poster is pitched at parents who want to grow themselves a baby physicist right quick, but who is ever too old for elephants and Newton’s three laws of motion? No one. That’s who.
10. Disclaimer: I found this item on a list someone made of worst gift ideas. What is it, you ask? Oh, just an owl pellet you can take apart and investigate for the remains of small rodents. Come on. Prove me right. Buy your true love some regurgitated owl puke for Valentine’s Day.
+1
11. Because Spinal Tap taught us all that going to eleven is totally worth it, here’s a little extra. It’s my favorite t-shirt from Inkling’s very own store, and it says Scientists are Foxy. Rooowr. (It comes in four other colors if pink’s not your style.)
Well, that’s it. Happy Breakup Day, y’all.
