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As a biologist and former museum intern, my expectations were probably higher than most viewers going into “A Night at the Museum.” I had already taken my hype-pill, knowing the plot and having seen the trailers. “Everything in the Natural History Museum in New York City comes to life at night,” I thought. “Woo-hoo! I’m in!” The premise of the movie brought to mind a former ecology professor of mine who liked to tell her classes that being a field biologist was like getting to be a 10-year-old tomboy for a living, sloshing around streams discovering all the hidden secrets of an ecosystem.
I was more than ready to suspend belief and dive into the fantasy, hoping to experience the same carefree wonder as the movie’s main character, Larry Daley (Ben Stiller), as he came face to face with the animals—skeletal and otherwise—of the museum. I was particularly geared up for the full size, suspended-from-the-ceiling blue whale. What I hadn’t counted on were the many, many people housed in the museum’s anthropological exhibits. Aside from some fun with T-Rex and naughty capuchin monkey, the real stars are historical figures like Attila the Hun (Patrick Gallagher) and Teddy Roosevelt (Robin Williams).
In any case, the kids around me seemed to love every minute, even clapping with the rest of the crowd at the most juvenile moments. Oh, that’s right: they were juveniles. I found myself laughing just as much, if not more, at the reaction of the children than at the movie’s jokes. The one notable exception, of course, was the joke that referred to the most infamous line from Brokeback Mountain. It was totally unexpected, but expertly delivered by Jedediah (Owen Wilson), a two-inch tall diorama cowboy who strikes up an unexpected friendship with the two-inch-tall-Roman-next-door, Octavius (Steve Coogan).
The film does, however, have a moment in it that’s sure to touch the heart of every recovering academic who sees it. Museum docent Rebecca (Carla Gugino) has been working on a 900-page dissertation on Lewis and Clark’s guide, Sacagewea, only to feel she will never know anything at all about her research subject. (Substitute “The evolution of fish sex” for “Sacagewea” here and you have the story of my former life.)
Daley tries to score points with Rebecca by offering to hook her up with Sacagewea herself who, like the other inanimate occupants of the museum, come to life at night. “Sure, make fun of the history geek,” Rebecca replies, choking back a sob. I felt her pain. Despite my new life as a writer, the years spent as a social outcast can never be forgotten. Still, I had to agree with her unsaid lament: a museum that comes to life at night would be too good to be true!
Fortunately for A Night at the Museum, it hits the family-audience mark. Unfortunately for my inner 10-year-old tomboy, there wasn’t quite enough brains to satisfy.