Babe Scientists on Film

Lady scientists are popping up in movies all over the place these days. From neuroscientists and nuclear physicists to virologists and paleontologists, these gals are working their on screen appeal to defy ye olde stereotype of the old white man academician.

But it’s not all girl power and intellectual equality. For it remains the sworn duty of mainstream film producers to employ clever plot devices designed to remind audiences that even though ladies can have book smarts, at the end of the day they are still simply…women.  Erratic, overly emotional, frequently distraught and boy-crazy, I call these handy reminders the “Hollywood Coping Mechanism” or HCM for short.

Here’s a random smattering of this standard in action. How did I compile this list? My selections were made after searching the keywords “babe scientists” on the Internet Movie Database. Really.

Contact (1997) starring Jodie Foster

Dr. Ellie Arroway is a gifted scientist and researcher working on the Search for Extra-Terrestrial Intelligence (SETI) program. She is shown developing an interest in science as a child and getting a prestigious education at MIT. This is one of the better portrayals of a female scientist in modern cinema. Why? Because it was written by a scientist, Dr. Carl Sagan, not a screenwriter.

The HCM: Matthew McConaughey as a tanned spiritual advisor who “softens” our lead lady with his mellow charm and curly, well-conditioned locks. See audience! She’s still a woman!

Jurassic Park (1993) and The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997), starring Laura Dern and Julianne Moore

A quick-witted paleobotanist (Dern) and a cagey behavioral paleontologist (Moore) are wonderful additions to this painfully short list. Incidentally, in both cases these scientists also happen to be the girlfriends of the male leads.

The HCM: Once the chaos ensues, the Dern’s character’s scholarly leanings take a backseat to her maternal instinct, and she becomes babysitter to the two helpless children. In the sequel, The Lost World, Julianne Moore’s character dissolves fairly quickly into the standard issue damsel in distress, requiring multiple rescues. Both characters do a lot of screaming.

Deep Blue Sea (1999), starring Saffron Burrows

Burrows plays Dr. Susan McAlester, a brilliant research scientist searching for a cure for Alzheimer’s disease using harvested brain tissue from giant genetically engineered mako sharks. You know, the old story.

The HCM: A female scientist dedicated to her research? Clearly unstable. Toss in the disturbing fact that she shows little to no interest in our rugged male hero (Thomas Jane) and we can surmise that she probably wouldn’t survive.  Outcome? Torn in half and eaten by shark.

*Horrifying side note* In the original ending, her character survives, but test audiences hated her so much (shouting “die, bitch” at the screen) that the filmmakers re-shot the ending with a grotesque death scene for our female lead, proving the extreme necessity for the HCM if producers hope to achieve box office smash potential.

Chain Reaction (1996), starring Rachel Weisz

Dr. Lily Sinclair is a physicist who has spent her entire career working on a green fuel project. Despite her prescription glasses, Dr. Sinclair just can’t get it right...cold fusion eludes her.

The HCM: Keanu Reeves surfs into the picture to save the day. Although his character is NOT A SCIENTIST, he figures out what Dr. Sinclair and her team could not. When the real action starts, Dr. Sinclair comes along for the ride, but only in the capacity of Keanu’s attractive carry-on luggage.

Sunshine (2007), starring Michelle Yeoh

Dr. Corazon, a biologist, is the only female scientist on board a spaceship whose mission is to save the human race from extinction by reigniting the dying sun.

The HCM: Yeoh’s Dr. Corazon does plenty of docile peacekeeping amongst the volatile men on the ship. She also does a lot of gardening. In her last scene, we see her holding a tiny plant and weeping before she gets killed to death by man possessing superhuman strength.

The Alien Quadrilogy (1979, 1986, 1992, 1997), starring Sigourney Weaver

Ellen Ripley is an aeronautical engineer, although this is not well known to anyone other than crazed film nerds. I felt compelled to include her on this list, as she is one of the best female characters in film history, and the rest of the list was making me sad.

The HCM: Ripley appears immune to the HCM. Audiences loved her, and even when filmmakers tried to kill her in Alien 3, she came back all cloned and toned in Alien: Resurrection.

There were a handful of others considered for the list: Tara Reid as genius anthropologist Dr. Aline Cedrac in Alone In The Dark, one of the worst films of all time; Ming-Na as Dr. Aki Ross in Final Fantasy, a cool character, but completely computer animated; any number of Bond Girls, who are often scientists although they spend no time doing any kind of science on screen. For example, in The World Is Not Enough, Denise Richards plays nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones. I think I need to type that again. Nuclear physicist Dr. Christmas Jones. She carries a briefcase and other assorted mystery instruments, but mostly just works her short shorts.

Television does a far better job of representing women in the sciences, but that’s a whole other list. I may wear sufficiently thick glasses, but as a woman I can only research and write one comprehensive list at a time. If that.