Your Health This (Delusional) Week

Now I don’t know about you, but growing up (emphasis on the growing) in Vancouver, we were always told that smoking pot was better for you than smoking cigarettes; the addictive nicotine, the evil chemical preservatives, weed is all natural goodness, dude, Alllll natural. Too bad that smoking one joint is like FIVE TIMES worse for your little lungs than a cigarette. And then there’s that pesky risk of psychotic mental illnesses later in life. Whoops.

Blue corn tortilla chips – with their antioxidants, higher protein and lower starch content – are, like HEALTHY. You know, like better for dieters and diabetics. Totally. Corn chips are a part of every healthy diet.

US doctors who see religion as a “master motive in their lives” are not more likely to care for the poor than other doctors..actually they are little LESS likely to waste their valuable time (aka money) on under-served patients. This, despite their religion calling them to serve the poor and “treat” others as they would wish to be treated.  I mean, WWJD?

Doctors at the CDC were apparently surprised to find that among underage drinkers, of which there are many (I mean the US drinking age is 21 for Pete’s sake), hard liquor is the most popular beverage. Pshaw. Of course. Do you know HOW much beer you have to drink to get wasted enough to fall down and puke through your nose? A lot. It’s a bit of a pain, really. It’s just like my daddy would say, “candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.”

In a case of a useful delusion, it seems that merely having a good attitude about exercise makes intense workouts less painful. I think this pretty much explains my problem.